Pride and Prejudice and Zombies

This 19th century based movie has it all; for the ladies, a fancy love story, and for the guys, hot chicks killing zombies. Or maybe I’m being a misogynist and I’m using stereotypical gender rolls to define what men and women like and dislike. The end.

pride prejudice zombie

Room

A lady is abducted by a weirdo when she was 17 and has a kid by him and thus when the kid turns 5 he still hasn’t seen the outside world, that is until they try a daring escape. For some reason I spent the first half of the movie trying to figure out if the kid was a boy or a girl even though he had a boys name and it had absolutely nothing to do with the movie plot. The end.

room

Hateful 8

This post civil war Tarantino flick stars Kurt Russel and Sammual L. Jackson as bounty hunters. Kurt is trying to bring in a chick who’s wanted by the law but he hits some bumps along the way in this mystery/thriller/action extravaganza (warning, they use the ‘N’ word a lot). The end.

Hateful-Eight

Intruders

This 2015 movie is about some chick with agoraphobia (she’s afraid to go outside for all you monosyllabic dummies) that gets her house broken into. This seemingly helpless woman has some crazy shit up her sleeve though for these would be burglars. The end.

intruders

Self/less

An old dying guy gets his brain put in another guys body…well, it’s not his brain, just his thoughts or consciousness or some such shit. But the guy in the new body has some revelation and kicks some ass. The end.

selfless