Monthly Archives: December 2016

Murder Party

I’m so glad this award winning comedy/horror gem from 2007 was brought to my attention! This idiot finds a random halloween party invite on the ground for a…you guessed it…murder party, and actually decides to go. He dresses in a stupid homemade cardboard box costume and is the intended murder victim of these baffoon artists who generously use the word ‘dildo’. The end


A quirky HS Senior likes Hemingway and footbal and befriends an assassin who teaches him to not take shit. Gets the girl at the end. The end

Bad Moms

A documentary about a mom who works part time but feels overwhelmed. With a lot of hard work and help from drunk friends she accomplishes her goal of working full time AND being the PTA president. The end.

True Romance

Spoiler alerts (for a movie from 1993): a comic book store worker falls in love with a hooker (a la Pretty Woman), they find some drugs, Christian Slater talk to an imaginary Elvis, Balki from Perfect Strangers becomes an informant for the police, and there’s a 3 way Mexican standoff. This star studded cast (including a stoned Brad Pitt, Patty Arquette, Chris Walken, Sam Jackson…) is a must see for dudes and chicks alike! The end.


Andy Samberg voices the main character in this animated movie that’s actually kind of funny. If your kids think think storks deliver babies then they are stupid and you are bad parents. The end.



This Ex Machina-esque movie is about some thing/girl that’s genetically made in a lab and she/it is pretty creepy. Then some shit gets fucked up and there are some chick fights (no naked boobies though). The end


Magnificent 7

About 4.3 million shots were fired in this ‘new’ western, which is pretty good for a 2 hour movie. A rag tag group of good guys consisting of a black guy (Denzel Washington), an Asian guy (who’s like a ninja), an Indian (feathers, not dots), a Mexican (who i don’t recognize), Star Lord from Guardians of the Galaxy, Private Pile from Full Metal Jacket, a woman, and another white guy or two, against all odds, battle an evil gold mining corporation. The end.


Red State

A kick ass Kevin Smith movie that isn’t full of dick and fart jokes and I’m surprised I haven’t seen Before. The picture below is a metaphore or some shit because there’s this religious cult that pickets gay people funerals and then unpredictable events start flowing like a drunk uncle’s ramblings at Thanksgiving. The end