Merry from Lord of the Rings plays a creepy guy who abducts a lady. But there is more to this story than meets the eye! The end


This is the first movie In quite a while I couldn’t make it through and even if the last hour and a half was where all the good stuff was, I’m happy living the rest of my life never knowing. I’m not sure if it was the drab subject matter or the fact that Kylo Ren was playing a priest. But if you love slow religious movies based in the 1600s, buy this movie before you watch it because this will be your new favorite! The end

XXX: Return of Xander Cage

This latest of the XXX movies is exactly what you’d expect. If you like ass kicking in zero G and dirt bikes with skis on the water, this is the movie for you! It’s kind of like an unsophisticated version of Mission Impossible with Vin Diesel instead of Tom Cruise.
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If you like to complain how all movies have happy endings (or beginnings, or middles)or are just feeling too happy, watch this movie. It has Guy Pearce in it and is told out of order like another movie he’s in named Memento. This movie is essentially about the worst priest ever and how shitty one girls (Fern from Charlotte’s Web) life is during the wild west days. The end

The Accountant

Surprisingly, this is one of the few Ben Affleck movies I’d recommend. Ben plays a guy with autism that’s good with numbers and kickin’ ass. This role fits well with his robotic onscreen acting style. The end.