Monthly Archives: April 2017

Bottom of the World

If you like movies that are so metaphorical that you have no idea what the hell is going on, has a shitty main character that just seems to randomly do things, and has no beginning or end, then you’re in for a treat! Otherwise, don’t watch this piece of crap. The end.

The Dark Tapes

I haven’t decided if this movie was good or not. It was kind of a low budget collection of mini scary stories about ghosts, goblins, murderers, and other dimensions. The stories contained both cool and lame stuff. The end.

Kong: Skull Island

A fun little romp about an unexplored island containing these huge mutant monster. A star studded cast including an angry Sam Jackson and my look alike, John Goodman. Worth a watch. The end

Get Out

This movie is way, way better and much creepier than the standard racist movie that I thought this was! A black guy goes to meet his white girlfriend’s parents and everything/everyone is just off and weird. It reminded a bit of the movie The Visit. The end.

Boondock Saints

In this cult classic, Twin brothers Connor and Murphy are stuck in the middle of a territory dispute with the Russian mob when they are forced to defend themselves. After being questioned by the feds, they feel chosen by God to perform an earthly cleansing, and are charismatic as hell doing it. The twins meet their long lost father, and Rocco grabs a stripper’s tit. The end.

The Hatton Garden Job

Some British old geezers and a young guy break into some safe deposit boxes. This very typical heist movie based on a true story is nothing spectacular. But if you’re a sucker for bank vault theft movies like me, this is worth a watch. The end

Lights Out

Guest reviewer John Swinford:
When a woman can’t outrun the depression from her youth, an old friend manifests herself. Now it threatens the safety of her children, and there’s only two ways to save them. Which one will she choose? The end

Boss Baby

An odd premise for a movie; babies are produced by a company run by babies and some of the babies drink this magic potion that makes them corporate douche bags but they keep their baby bodies. There are some parts that I laughed at though. I rate this movie one pair of mismatched socks and a bite of cheese. The end

Rings

The latest installment of the Ring movies is the same level of creepy as the other two. People watch a VHS movie and die 7 days later but the smart cast of this movie figured out how to pass the curse to someone else. Watch it…if you dare! The end

Tank 432

If you love super confusing thrillers that you hope will eventually make sense but never do, this movie is what you’ve been looking for! Some British Army guys hide out in this broken down tank and get stuck. Weird visions and the never explained story line leaves you feeling like a ginger punched you in the thigh. The end