Monthly Archives: June 2017

God Bless America

A guy gets sick of what society has become with all of its internetting and tv channels full of no talent ass clowns so he teams up with a teenage girl and starts killing annyoying people. This movie is like a dream most of us have had. The end.

Berlin Syndrome

This chick totally does it with this dude and then he decides to keep her locked in his apartment for months. She escapes. The end.


Guest reviewer John Swinford: Aliens aren’t real, aliens aren’t real, aliens aren’t real. Oh shit, aliens ARE real! Hit it with a bat! The end.


Bruce Willis’ character gets in a train crash and realizes he’s invincible (which apparently means he can also bench press like 800 lbs.). Sam jackson’s character (Mr. Glass) is the opposite and is very vincible and decides to be an evil villain. A pretty good movie based on a comic book and one of the few by M. Night Shyamalan that I like. The end.

Kill Switch

The most interesting thing about this movie is it’s shot mostly in first person so it almost feels like you’re watching a video game like Call of Duty. The story is told out of order so it’s a little confusing for like the first half. But once you figure out what’s going on it’s a pretty good sci-fi flick. The end

The Imitation Game

Benedict Cumberbatch (still the best name ever) plays another Sherlock Holmes type character in this ‘based on a true story’ movie. Bene-Cum is hired to crack the German’s communication code during WW2. This flick had potential but fell flat with the lovey stuff and was ‘fat guy on a hot day’ slow for most of the movie. The end

We Go On

This unique ghost story is surprisingly good though I didn’t like the man-boy lead character. It’s about some dude who is afraid to die so he offeres a large reward ($30k to be precise) for definitive proof of ghosts, an afterlife… to make dying less scary. Some wacky stuff happens. The end.

Moon (2009)

This 2009 movie looks like it was made in the 60s but trying to be in the future (like blocky ‘futuristic’ computers and and a robot that should be much more sophisticated (voiced by Kevin Spacy)) which i found weird. The movie is about a guy on a 3 year contract, by himself, to mine some material that’s used for clean energy on earth, but everything isn’t as it seems! Pretty good movie. The end


This 2014 time travel thriller is a complete mind fuck (time travel is confusing). Paradoxes (like going back in time to kill your grandparents) kind of play out in this flick which make it fun! The end.

Before I Fall

This is Groundhog’s Day 2.0 except written for 17 year old girls. The main character relives the same day on repeat and realizes she’s a bitch. The only way out of the loop is love and sacrifice…or some shit. The end