Monthly Archives: October 2017

Happy Death Day

If the cinematic hit Groundhog’s Day (which they even mention in this movie) and the Scream movies had a baby, it’d be named Happy Death Day. This college chick relives the same day (her birthday…or deathday, as it happens to be) until she finds out who’s behind the weird baby mask that keeps killing her. Spoiler: just like Bill Murry, she transforms from a jerk to a nice person. The end.

The Bad Batch

In the future (whOoOo) a lady gets sent into the dessert with the rest of the outcasts for some unexplained reason. Then her arm gets cut off (by Kahl Drogo (from GoT)and his wife)and eaten and she spends the rest of the movie trying to get revenge. This movie was weird but pretty swell and a lot of music is used to tell the story. The end.


The WWE wrestler Bautista (the big dumb guy from Guardians of the Galaxy) is in this so I thought this would suck but I was pleasantly surprised. It’s about some bad guys invading New York City, marshal law, civil war…stuff like that. The movie was shot with super long continuous takes which was sweet and I like some of the special effects they did like a dude getting blown up at the beginning. The end

Atomic Blonde

A halfway decent movie with a full way decent 80’s soundtrack. Charlize Theron Plays a smokin’ hot spy that does a bunch of spy shit with other spies (like the dude from Split and the X-Men movies). This movie was a bit confusing with all the double and triple and quadruple crossing but it was mainly confusing because I’m not smart. The end

Wheelman (2017)

This is a unique film for two reasons; a) it doesn’t totally suck and 2) 99% of the movie is filmed filmed from inside a car. This Netflix movie kept my interest and I was surprised at how good it was with pretty much only one actor in it. Check this shit out! The end.


This is one of those futuristic mind bending movies that asks the questions like what is reality and where should we stand morally on memory manipulation. Kind of a slow drama with a twist that I inexplicably couldn’t stop watching. Zero naked boobies but it gives your brain a little workout. The end

A Nightmare on Elm Street (1984)

This classic horror flick doesn’t really stand the test of time even though it’s a good premise and there are the classic horror ‘scares’. I totally forgot that Jack Sparrow aka Willy Wonka aka Gilbert Grape aka Johnny Depp is in this movie. I give this movie 3 creamless twinkies. The end.


The classic story of a villain vs. a hero told told in an unconventional way through a college drummer and a professor. The teacher/band director of this jazz group is an outright cunt (and I rarely use that word but watch, it fits him perfectly) and he squares off against this young, up and coming, ultra dedicated drummer. I don’t know shit about jazz or drumming but the end of this movie is absolutely super fabulous. The end.

The Babysitter (2017)

This Netflix movie about a hot but evil babysitter caught my eye. The movie was really well done and filled with some comical deaths and cheeky yet stereotypical horror movie characters. It reminded me of a rated R ‘Home Alone’ mixed with some ‘Dale and Tucker’. The end

The Dark Tower

I’m going to be a pretentious DB and say the books were so good (except Song of Susannah) that I was expecting a lot from this movie. There were some moments that instilled excitement in my loins but overall It was like eating 4 day old pizza. Matthew McConaughey acted the shit out of the evil villain and the main guy was good at loading guns. The end