Category Archives: Chick Flick

A Star is Born

Posted on November 23, 2018 by | Comments Off on A Star is Born

A singing celebrity that’s drunk and high all the time makes a no name Lady Gaga into a star. For being a slow ass drama it was pretty damn great. You’ll laugh, you’ll cry, and maybe you’ll eat a cheeseburger. The end.

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Posted in Chick Flick, Drama, romance

The Shape of Water

Posted on March 3, 2018 by | Comments Off on The Shape of Water

This Guillermo del Toro movie is all the rage and is expected to win the Academy Award for best picture but I liked it the first time i saw it when it was called Beauty and the Beast. It’s actually a pretty good movie about a mute lady that falls in love with a water mermaid type guy who reminds of the water creature from Hellboy. Plus, full frontal nudity = bonus! The end.

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Posted in Chick Flick, Drama, romance, science fiction, Thriller

Dirty Dancing (2017)

Posted on August 10, 2017 by | Comments Off on Dirty Dancing (2017)

If you like made for tv movies that are remakes of “classic” 80s movies then this is a must see! The soundtrack is good and the main character is the badass little sister from Zombieland (the movie, not the city in Finland) and was a good fit for the roll of Baby (pulled off the frumpy, brainy, uncoordinated dancer part perfectly). Overall the acting was poor, the lip syncing lame, and the overall tone cheesy. The end

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Posted in Chick Flick, Drama, musical, romance

Before I Fall

Posted on June 10, 2017 by | Comments Off on Before I Fall

This is Groundhog’s Day 2.0 except written for 17 year old girls. The main character relives the same day on repeat and realizes she’s a bitch. The only way out of the loop is love and sacrifice…or some shit. The end

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Posted in Chick Flick, Drama

The Space Between Us

Posted on April 3, 2017 by | Comments Off on The Space Between Us

This movie should be called ‘Men Are From Mars, Women Are From Earth’. It’s a mushy love story about a socially awkward (due to limited human contact) teen boy born on Mars who comes to Earth to hook up with a girl (using really corny lines) and find his father. Not very much cool space stuff in this like I was hoping. The end

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Posted in Chick Flick, Drama, science fiction

Bad Moms

Posted on December 19, 2016 by | Comments Off on Bad Moms

A documentary about a mom who works part time but feels overwhelmed. With a lot of hard work and help from drunk friends she accomplishes her goal of working full time AND being the PTA president. The end.

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Posted in Chick Flick, comedy

True Romance

Posted on December 19, 2016 by | Comments Off on True Romance

Spoiler alerts (for a movie from 1993): a comic book store worker falls in love with a hooker (a la Pretty Woman), they find some drugs, Christian Slater talk to an imaginary Elvis, Balki from Perfect Strangers becomes an informant for the police, and there’s a 3 way Mexican standoff. This star studded cast (including a stoned Brad Pitt, Patty Arquette, Chris Walken, Sam Jackson…) is a must see for dudes and chicks alike! The end.

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Posted in Action, Chick Flick, Drama, romance

Trainwreck

Posted on January 23, 2016 by | Comments Off on Trainwreck

This movie should have been titled “Feminist Fairytale.” It is about drunk, slutty, “Plain Jane” who lands a doctor because she has a vagina, ooohh, and she’s so sassy (men LOVE that sass ladies)! At least Lebron James is funny though. The End.

Trainwreck

 

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Posted in Chick Flick, comedy

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Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Posted on October 11, 2015 by | Comments Off on Forgetting Sarah Marshall

Marshall from How I Met Your Mother gets dumped by his cheating girlfriend Sarah Marshall (I know, confusing because Marshall isn’t even that common of a name) and goes away to Hawaii to get away. But that slut is there, so it gets awkward. However, by the end he bangs Jackie from that 70’s show, makes a sweet muppet Dracula musical, and shows a lot of wang. The end.

forgetting sarah marshall

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Posted in Chick Flick, comedy, musical

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50 Shades of Grey

Posted on June 25, 2015 by | Comments Off on 50 Shades of Grey

Fifty-Shades-of-Grey-Movie-Poster-Revealed-332x263Here’s exactly how to replicate the experience of watching 50 Shades of Grey while saving 2 hours (the movie): Take an Ambien, turn on C-SPAN for some ambiance, and close your eyes. Imagine the couple in American Gothic american gothic

as younger versions of themselves, complete with 1,000 yard stares, but naked and into light bondage. Then shit in your hands while you fall asleep. The End!

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Posted in Chick Flick, romance

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