Category Archives: Super-natural

The House With a Clock in the Walls

Not good. Don’t watch it. The end.

Soft Matter

Ummmmm…I’m not really sure what to say except I think this movie was either made by someone on their break from the concussion factory or by someone very, very, super, ultra LSD mixed with beaver tranquilizers high. This movie includes, but is not limited to, animated musical interludes, a girl with a sharpie mustache, a sludge moster wearing garbage bags who ruins his ‘fresh kicks’, and a god who lives in a mop bucket. Ya, try and sort through that while sober. The end.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Personally, I don’t think there are enough movies, not named Transformers, that feature giant robots fighting huge monsters from other worlds who are being helped by evil Charlie from It’s Always Sunny, and this movie really scratches that itch. This movie earned 42 robot boners, mostly from robotics fans around the world. The end

Marrowbone

This English family starts a new life, on the run from their crazy killer of a dad and now the dad is haunting their house…or is he? I had this movie figured out pretty early but that’s because I’m super smart. Worth a watch if you’re in the mood for a thriller/mystery type movie. The end

The Ritual

The name of this movie should be changed to ‘College Friends From England Go Hiking and are Chased by a Big Monster…The Movie’. This was put together pretty well even though the monster is never really explained. If you’re in the mood for a horror/thriller check out ‘Blaire Witch meets Bigfoot…the movie’ aka The Ritual. The end

It (2017)

The best horror movie I’ve seen in recent years! A GD creepy clown haunts these prepubescent kids (apparently adults can’t see him) so the kids run away from the clown but then turn the tables and hunt the clown. Scary throughout and enough comic relief to keep you from pooping your pants. The end.

The Hatred

Poor acting and incomplete storyline aside, this movie has some sufficiently scary parts. Some college girls go to stay at a house that’s apparently haunted by some Nazi people and an evil relic. If you’re a fan of Nazi hauntings (like Dead Snow) and bad script writing and dialog (like Sharknado), then this is the perfect movie! The end

Phoenix Forgotten

This was a pretty good found footage, historical fiction, sci-fi,thriller, docu-drama based on the famous ‘Phoenix lights’ which appeated in 1997. In this movie 3 kids disappear while investigating the lights and are never found…but a missing tape was! If you like seizure inducing films, you could do worse than this one. The end

The Mummy (2017)

Tom Cruise must be on them good scientology drugs because he looks boner-rific for a 55 year old… but this movie sucks that boner I got. The producers must have said ‘I know what can make this expensive turd of a movie even weirder…randomly throw in Russell Crowe as Jekyll and Hyde.’ Skip this movie unless you like to simultaneously waste time while not being entertained. The end.

We Go On

This unique ghost story is surprisingly good though I didn’t like the man-boy lead character. It’s about some dude who is afraid to die so he offeres a large reward ($30k to be precise) for definitive proof of ghosts, an afterlife… to make dying less scary. Some wacky stuff happens. The end.