Category Archives: Superhero

Wonder Woman

This lady on a secluded island with other ladies has grandiose ideas about stopping a war and saving the world. Then she stops a war and saves the world. Zero naked boobies. The end

Unbreakable

Bruce Willis’ character gets in a train crash and realizes he’s invincible (which apparently means he can also bench press like 800 lbs.). Sam jackson’s character (Mr. Glass) is the opposite and is very vincible and decides to be an evil villain. A pretty good movie based on a comic book and one of the few by M. Night Shyamalan that I like. The end.

Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2

Good glorified galaxy gangsters generate great gaety by gallivantingly quashing guerrillas. I hate alliteration but not this goddamn movie because this goddamn movie is super goddamn awesome. I saw it in 3D and I might like it even more than the first Guardians movie which was also goddamn glorious . The end.

Logan

Hugh Jackman is the antithesis of me; handsome, ripped, talented, and has indestructible metal claws that protrude from his fists. Hugh teams up with a mini female version of himself to defeat evil villains. His final and most epic portrayal of Wolverine shouldn’t be missed! The end.

Doctor Strange

As always, my expectations were low for another super hero type movie, but holy bacon pizza, this was a boner fest of a movie (boner fest being a term of endearment in this case)! A goddamn good movie that reminded me of the fortress of solitude from Superman mixed with the Matrix mixed with Harry Potter. The end

Miss Peregrine’s Home for Peculiar Children

Good movie about how some kid with a wacky grandpa meets up with some other kids who all have crappy super powers in some weird ‘time pocket’ world where the same day repeats (a la Groundhogs Day). All the kids (and Miss P.) are trying to get away from these invisible monsters who eat eyeballs for some reason and are led by the evil Sam Jackson. The end.

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Guardians of the Galaxy

This one was about a comic and some Marvel super heroes I’ve never heard of, but were actually funny. There’s a talking raccoon, a blue Woody Harrelson impersonator, and a smallish Ent. This movie is pretty fucking sweet.

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