Category Archives: Thriller

Jurassic Dead

From guest reviewer Kim: If you are looking for tons of dino action, it won’t be found here. Overall movie equates to a 9 year old’s garage skit with his dolls. Oh, three sentences, also know your video games to get those 9 year old punch lines. The end.


A smart home with a killer robot keeps a woman hostage per its master’s commands. Woman tries to befriend the robot house in order to escape. Moral of the story: people are smart and robots are dumb. The end

Future World

This movie with a kick ass name (I mean, Future World! Come on!) has A bad ass James Franco, Snoop Dogg, a dying Lucy Liu, Leeloo from The Fifth Element, and a hot chick robot. With all those gems, all they needed was a good plot from the ‘future’, but there wasn’t one. No cool ray guns, time travel portals, aliens, or spaceships; just some kid trying to get his mom medecine and save a robot. The end.

Pacific Rim: Uprising

Personally, I don’t think there are enough movies, not named Transformers, that feature giant robots fighting huge monsters from other worlds who are being helped by evil Charlie from It’s Always Sunny, and this movie really scratches that itch. This movie earned 42 robot boners, mostly from robotics fans around the world. The end

15:17 to Paris

This ‘based on a true story’ Clint Eastwood directed film had horrible acting except when they stopped the badguy (about 5 minutes of the movie). Found out later the bad actors were the real guys who stopped the bad guy, then I felt bad. It scores 1.5 peanuts on the elephant scale. The end.

Solo: A Star Wars Story

Ron Howard tells the story of how Han Solo, space pirate, before he’s Harrison Ford, meets a sasquatch and teams up with Woody Harrelson to get back to his lady who happens to be Daenerys Stormborn, Mother of Dragons, from Game of Thrones. Whew! It was a good one! The end.


Like the book 1984 except in the future, the government stores your memories and spys on everyone and everything. That is until the hackers start murdering! The end.

12 Strong

Thor (the actor who plays him, not the actual god of thunder) gets 11 military friends to go kick some Taliban ass under orders from the government after 9/11. This is based on a true story and was a great ‘against all odds’ movie. If you love America and hate terrorists, this movie is for you! The end.

Den of Thieves

Imagine a longer, crappier version of Oceans 11 but with less big named actors. This is your standard ‘rob an un-robable place’ movie with good guys vs bad guys but the good guys are dicks so you don’t know who you’re rooting for. The twists were lame and predictable so I rate this movie 1 box of Mike and Ikes and 1 twizzler that’s not twisted. The end

Ready Player One

With its numerous reference to cool stuff in the 80’s such as Bill and Ted’s, Back to the Future, Child’s Play (Chucky), Ninja Turtles, and much, much more, this futuristic sci-fi movie is for people that like to peek into the future as well as live in the past! This is about some kid that has to win some contest in this thing called ‘virtual reality’ to stop a corporate overlord from ruling the world. This movie was awesome in 3d but I suggest you watch it in any ‘d’ you can because it’s great and scored a perfect 6 ripe kumquats on the movie richter scale. The end.