Searching

Nothing is more interesting that watching a picture of a computer screen being projected onto your tv screen for 1.5 hours which is exactly what this movie is. They tried a new movie formula and went out on a limb and guess what, it totally worked! This movie is pretty engross inducing. The end.

Bohemian Rhapsody

I wish this movie was just all music but it was only like 50% (booooo!)! It’s about a guy with big teeth that sings really well and starts a band called ‘Queen’. No boobs though so I can only rate this movie 2 unripe bananas and one phillips screwdriver. The end.

The Predator (2018)

Where the hell is Arny? Someone did say ‘get in the choppa’ though, I think. Pretty good movie if you take the attempt at comic relief out. The end.

Hotel Artemis

In the future, criminals go see Jodie Foster and Bautista when they get shot up during dangerous heists because they’re underground doctors or something. Jodie Foster killed it just as much as when she played that deaf girl in the 90s. Watch this movie because I rate this 4 pumpernickels and 3.5 tabernacles. The end